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    July 22

    那一束玫瑰花

    这些天总是睡不踏实,早早醒来,不知所以。伴随着鸟叫,想着一些人和事,面对着屏幕发呆,为又一套书的封面发愁。滴答滴答,抬眼看去,钟表的指针在8点17分42秒,表的旁边,一个蓝色的花瓶里面,插着一束玫瑰花——假的。

    不记得这是什么时候爸爸送给妈妈的玫瑰花,假花,现如今落满了灰尘依然放在那里。其实大概只有中国人才会买假花,因为大家都喜欢花,都爱美,却没有西方人每天买一束新的花放在花瓶里,天天换的习惯。于是只好买一束假花,一劳永逸,不仅欺骗自己的眼睛,其实更欺骗了自己的感情。其他事情也一样,当你认为你的内心还像花一样鲜艳红火时,其实现实早已无法想象。

    虽然有时候总在说,未曾拿起,又谈何放下,但是有些故事,终究要放下。有的时候就是这样,终于可以正经的坐在网吧,终于可以随意的开车,终于可以肆无忌惮的逃课,却发现现实和所期望的根本不一样。只是突然发现,我们也有了曾经,也有了所谓的故事可以讲。在终于抹去A.I.R.的时候,知道这不仅仅是丢掉了三年多,而且终于冲破了束缚,没有什么能够阻挡。当然,A.I.R.的意义,依然只有我一个人知道。曾经高举的可以抛去,未曾拿起的却更难以放下,这就是人,扭曲的机器。

    天空灰暗,不知道是因为阴天,还是日食的影响,日食应该还没有开始吧,不知道,不去管它,不关心。十二年前的那一次日食,拿着胶卷放在眼前,第一次觉得看太阳也是那么的欣喜,仿佛全世界都没有什么事情比这个更重要了。现在,却只想好好的修整,修身养性齐家治国平天下,而不是美丽世界里,的孤儿。

    人一直都在寻找,找什么,其实不知道。那年在《北京撒欢儿》里写到找的是一条短裤,着实可笑,不过也无法论证那是错误的。现在又在找什么呢,玫瑰花么?惊鸿一样短暂,像夏花一样灿烂。只是到了那一年,花还在开吗?

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